I can hardly expect people to follow me me when I can’t even manage to update a blog for over two weeks!
I guess I got a little sidetracked, so a bit of an update on things:
I never did make that to-do list. Well, in my head I have a list, but I didn’t write it down and my pile of paperwork on my desk is exactly the same size as it was when I last wrote. I’m not actually sure what it is I’ve been doing the last two weeks but it involved a lot of sleeping in, visiting with my daughter who got home on December 14th, drinking wine and a couple of dates. I really felt like I was busy but just reading that, it seems pretty clear I’ve been screwing around and not getting much accomplished.
Well, I did work a few days in December, so there is that. Very busy with my ex employer finishing up things there plus got a bottle of nice wine out of it as a Christmas present and a request to continue to come in once a week in the new year. Also got a contract to do a small job setting up some books for someone in the new year, so I suppose I haven’t been entirely useless.
My resume is still not updated. I still haven’t contacted any recruiters or applied for any jobs. Obviously, I have been in complete denial about being unemployed and my looming penniless status.
But surprisingly, given the fact that money will run out soon and I will be well and truly fucked, I am happy for the first time in a long time. Why that is I haven’t figured out yet. Yes, I do have a few moments where I’m thinking to myself “holy crap girl you are so screwed”, but it doesn’t matter. I have an absence of stress in my life right now that is amazing – in my job I was under huge stress, always trying to figure out when I went to work whether or not the boss was going to be the nice man or the pissy man, and I never realized what a weight it was on my shoulders until I left.
I’ve had the best Christmas with my daughter that we’ve had in years. And I put it down to the absence of stress. In previous years, we went on trips to NYC and Lake Louise and I was always doing work even though I was supposed to be on vacation. I remember the Lake Louse trip apologizing to my daughter for “work crap interfering with our vacation”. God, I wish I had that time back. But this year, I went to bed on Christmas eve thinking to myself “It’s a good day when you go to bed and can’t imagine how you could possibly be happier”. A real first for me.
On the man front, it’s still pretty much a kill me now vibe going on. I had a last night with the Vancouver man on December 14th which turned into a sleepover. We are very compatible in many ways and it sucks that he lives on the other side of the country. We are still texting every day, but I would really, really like to find someone just like him here.
Russian guy is banished from my life. He went back to his ex, who hates his kids! I so dodged a bullet here it is unbelievable. I was under the impression that the ex was ditched awhile back, but not so, it was only a few months. Anyway, he is too sick and now I find out, too stupid, for me to be involved with. All his friends are pissed at him for going back (for the THIRD time) to this woman who basically wrecked his life (their words, not mine). So, the fact he puts his kids second to the woman just makes him a total loser in my eyes and I am well rid. See, even when someone presents as a really fantastically nice guy, THEY ARE NOT!!! I was totally right to be all tied up in knots about where that was going to go.
The weirdo who wanted to listen to my heart beat while smelling my hair contacted me again to “give me one more chance to meet him”. Jesus, what a total creep!
Had very fun evening last week with a man that I am so sexually attracted to it is unbelievable – anyone looking at the two of us in the bar could probably tell we had the major hots for each other. But I could see how this would end very badly for me, so nothing happened and I won’t be seeing him again. I just don’t see how that would translate into any kind of relationship except a sexual one, which I’m not interested in.
I’m really finding it hard to be enthusiastic about meeting new people now as it just seems like a complete waste of my time. Given the fact I have no idea what I’m looking for, and apparently I am only really attracted to men who live on the other side of the country, I should probably get off ROC and embrace being single for a bit. There’s a couple of people that I will meet if they contact me but I think I’m going to take a little break from this meeting men madness as it is no longer any fun whatsoever.
On the upside, I am starting the new year off doing a two hour hot yoga class. I hate yoga, but I figure this will be a good use of my time and perhaps set the tone for 2014 (it probably won’t, but I did like writing that!).