I just keep telling myself “mortgage payments and wine drinking”…

Things are marching along in that I am getting paid, and despite the profound dysfunction that exists in pretty much every interaction between the boss and myself, I am soldiering on in the interests of not having to drink shitty wine and keeping a roof over my head.

Regardless of what this guy tries to tell me, he is a fucking wing nut, pure and simple.  His insulting behavior towards just about everyone, including myself, is so unbelievable as to make me think he has some kind of Tourette’s syndrome where every single thing he actually thinks has to be said.  I couldn’t believe it last night when he was at my house with his dog and my room mate’s chubby little gay friend was here to visit and spend the night.  His dog started growling at the poor kid, and this is what the guy actually says to the kid:  “Well, he doesn’t really like fat people and you’re plump enough he could make a good meal out of you”.

Nice.  Really, really nice.

I have actually worked way harder at trying to make this work with him than I ever have with anyone.  I am not joking.  I have gone out of my to do nice things for him that are unexpected.  I commiserate with him over anything he complains about.  I work extra hours with no pay just to help him out.  Yet despite what I consider to be my best efforts, none of it is good enough for him and I am lacking in every department from my cooking skills to how nice I am to him, to how cheap I am and everything in between.   Actual conversation:

Me:  So do you want to do something for dinner tonight?  I could pick up some food and we can eat at my place.

Him:  Well, that seems like a lot of work as you aren’t like normal people who actually have food in their house.

Me:  I like buying what I am going to eat on the way home.  So, I’m offering to get us some steaks or whatever you like and I can cook and we can hang out.

Him:  I’m sick of all this stress with you around food. (Editorial note:  I actually don’t know WTF he is talking about).  You told me when we first met that you didn’t like to cook so I don’t know why you’re changing now. I’m perfectly capable of feeding myself and I will do that tonight.

Me:  Okay – I thought we were hanging out tonight and I was just trying to be nice.

And I left.

As I said to KMS (who met him yesterday and just thought it was weird and awkward), I don’t even like the guy anymore.

As KMS says “you have to take a pragmatic approach to this and realize it’s just a job and you are getting paid and it will all be over in a month or two”.  And she is right.

So, I really need to keep telling myself this and be a lot more pragmatic as I am really taking some of this shit to heart.

Luckily for me the above noted conversation occurred on Thursday, and as soon as I left, I get a text from Vancouver man who was in town on business and wanted  to surprise me. That kind of surprise I can most certainly do without, but I will say that it was a really nice thing for him to do.  As I was quite upset about the conversation I just had with my boss, I was not my usual fun self.  I did, however, manage to drink some nice wine and eat a nice meal with him so all was not lost.  I am really sorry that I didn’t have a chance to see him again though, as he left on Saturday (a day early, I’m pretty sure he was staying in town for me, and I wasn’t really all that interested in sleeping with him plus not really a happy camper which was probably a downer for him so I don’t blame him at all for changing his flight).

Anyway, although this guy is awesome, he’s no good to me in Vancouver so maybe I’ll see him again when he’s in town, maybe not.

Back to the matter at hand.  I have been dating this man since January 10th.  We have broken up twice.  He can’t go more than two days in a row without being cranky and accusing me of something.  Last night was good:  “You’re only interested in being with me for sex”.  I laughed in his face over that one.  Yes, the sex is good, but it’s more the job I’m interested in now.  Anything romantic I ever felt for him has been thoroughly decimated and I’m not seeing how it’s ever coming back.

I think it’s pretty safe to say that this is one whacked out situation.  But, ever onward and pragmatism must rule here.

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