I am taking my daughter’s advice: “Mom, you know he was crazy and you kept going out with him. So, don’t you think you should just stay single for awhile. You don’t seem to be really good at this relationship type of thing”.
Thank you dear for those harsh yet very true words. She does like to call them as she sees them. Hopefully, that relationship gene of mine has not imbedded itself into my lovely daughter and she will have more success than her mother.
I received a text (of course I did) the morning after that phone conversation where I was told I sucked as an employee so I suggested I quit and turn in my key and he seemed all up for it.
It was a lighthearted text, blaming me for “swearing and hanging up on him” therefore he didn’t have a chance to “run his new plan by me”.
Jesus Christ – his recall of what actually happened is deplorable. There was no swearing involved. He was rude and horrible to me. But in his mind that’s all switched around I guess.
Anyway, that’s just a total rehash. I received a long and rambling text yesterday indicating that the changes he was making would be good for me as I would learn much more working with him at night. (I think I would rather stab myself in the eye with a fork than be stuck working every night with that cranky bastard). And that he knew I was worried about my dog and he hoped I had calmed down from the conversation the night before. And he added a PS to it: You have quit more times than any other employee and broken up with me more than any other girl friend (smiley face).
Seriously. How is it possible for him to send me this shit after the conversation of the night before??? He basically told me I was the worst employee he ever had. How else does one take that kind of statement?
So I totally ignored him. I got another text from him yesterday. Well, he called and I ignored him, so therefore the text. This is his plan for my work week:
“B will work mornings and you and me can work to 8-9 two or three days a week. The other days can be as usual. Please don’t be mad at me. I am so run down and on top of that may lose all my equity in my cottage. I have never had this many health issues or bad financial news. Like I said please be nice to me and give me a break and lets just finish out the tax season. If you don’t want to see me as a boyfriend well that sucks cause u are seeing me at my worst but I understand.”
So, to nip all of this in the bud, I went in today, dropped off the key, got my final pay and we had a little chat. Suddenly he has at least a dozen people who he can hire and who have way more experience and I just didn’t realize the extent of his generosity hiring an untrained person like me and paying them what I’m being paid.
I had a hard time to keep a straight face. Then he ACTUALLY ASKED ME: Are we still going out. I was dumbfounded. I said no. It’s not going well. There is no happiness or joy in our relationship. I stress you out and you stress me out. He said to me “I thought it was going really well and that it was just work that wasn’t”. Now, what the hell do you say to that. There is just such a lack of insight on what’s been going on, and how completely dysfunctional we are with each other that I didn’t know what to say. So, he went into attack mode and said I was just cold to him, I was the problem, and he’d never had a woman treat him as badly as I treated him. Fuck me!
Then I went to the gym and met the personal trainer I am working with who will hopefully turn my middle aged ass into something more resembling what it was 20 years ago and I feel so much better and am no longer feeling like my head is going to explode.
That and the nice glass of red wine I am currently swilling has helped to put all of this in perspective. There is nothing I can do or say that will ever make this man happy. There is no hoop I can jump through that will be good enough. There is no foot rub, back rub, dinner buying, coffee bringing, hug, kiss, sex or anything else that will ever make him happy. There is nothing I can do working for him that will be good enough. I will always be deficient in his eyes. Always.
This really has been the most tiresome two months of my entire life. Not to mention the most deplorable “relationship” I’ve ever subjected myself to. I’m really glad it’s over. Not sure what the hell I will blog about now as I’ve sworn off men, job hunting is rather boring, ditto sick dogs and fixing my roof.
I’m sure something will turn up.