Yes, I got kicked out. But I swear to God it was all a complete misunderstanding and it’s not like I behaved like an asshole or anything like that. (I suppose that would be subject to interpretation, but I stand by that comment).
It’s been a while since I wrote (I go back to a comment I made at some point that I am shit blogger) as cannot think of enough things that would be even remotely interesting in my life that other people would want to read. Since the last time, not too much has changed up. Still loosely seeing that nice man. Why he is with me is beyond my comprehension – I am way too much work, even I can see that. He brings food to my house, cooks me food, and is really nice to me – I think his strategy is if he wears me down enough with his niceness I will be able to get past the fact that I’m bored as snot with him.
Back to the Liquor Dome fiasco. It all started out quite benignly. A regular monthly dinner with some women friends. Then a couple of us went out after, and you know when that happens, and I’m involved, it all turns into a shit show at some point in the night.
Sooo, to make a long story short, some really greasy looking, creepy men were hitting on my friend and me while we were sitting at the bar. I cannot explain how unappealing and gross they were. I would vomit if one of them touched me…. I had this absolutely brilliant idea: There were three hot looking men sitting at a table and I said to my friend “let’s just go stand over there at their table and tell them they don’t have to talk to us, we just needed to get away from the dirtbags that wouldn’t leave us alone at the bar.
As a plan, it worked up really well. We walked over, I did my little blurb about why we were there, and presto it turns into tequila shooters and copious amounts of alcohol and a trip to the liquor dome. We were actually dancing our asses off with all of the twenty-something year olds and as an aside, I have to say, not much (except the music) has changed from when I was a twenty something year old.
Now to put what happened next in context: I’ve been working out a lot. My last session with the trainer completely killed my quads. Shredded them. And I was wearing high heels (really hot red ones). (Not while training, the night in question). So, I was having difficulty walking down stairs. I had to hold onto the rail, and do this weird thing where I go down a bit sideways so it doesn’t hurt so much. And I suppose the bouncer dude at the bottom of the stairs thought that was a sign that I was totally shitfaced and needed to be kicked out of the bar.
Him: Ma’am (how to stab me in the heart, just call me that) I think you’ve had too much to drink and you’ll have to leave.
Me: No, that’s not right (I seriously probably did have enough to drink but you have got to be kidding me). My quads are sore. You don’t understand.
Him: Ma’am, I watched you come down the stairs, you were stumbing.
Me: No, I wasn’t. You don’t understand. I’ve been working out and my quads are shredded and I have high heels on and it’s the only way I could get down the stairs without too much pain.
Him: Ma’am, I’d like you to leave now.
Me: (Finally realizing that I’m probably going to end up in a police car if I don’t just suck it up and leave) Well, you are wrong, but I will leave and I hope you have a good night.
The hot man from Toronto that was my dance partner (he was one of the ones who fed us tequila etc. earlier in the night) just about pissed himself laughing. I did manage to maintain some semblance of dignity and we left. I CANNOT believe I got kicked out of the place. Everywhere I looked were stoned and totally shitfaced people who apparently did not have sore quads and therefore got to stay. Live and learn – I can see why people my age avoid that place.
I won’t detail the rest of the night, but it was pretty fun and I didn’t get kicked out of any other bars : )
I spent today in my garden. Who knew I liked to do this stuff. I actually thought it was an activity best avoided at all costs, but for some reason this year I find it totally relaxing and can spend hours out in my backyard digging in the dirt. Here is one of my pride and joys:
And that’s it for me. Going out for dinner tonight, maybe listen to some jazz and have a mellow night. Must do a pedicure though as toenails are so grotty looking it’s beyond pathetic!