Karma continues to take huge chunks out of my ass as I continue to do stupid shit….

Besides being a shit blogger who can’t seem to find anything to write about on a regular basis, I am having a run of bad luck where men are concerned.  I know it’s all my fault for my shitty taste in men, but I swear to god, 2015 is going to be a different kind of man year (barring last night of course which was not a good way to spend the first evening of the New Year, but lesson learned).  Consider the following (all since the tomato on toothpicks guy)

1.   I find an old text exchange between myself and someone I met on POF in November 2013 when I was cleaning up my texts.  He had asked me out for a second date, and I blew him off, lying and saying I was seeing someone.  I couldn’t really remember why I blew him off.  Always, always, go with your instincts.  There was a reason. A good one.  Stupidly, I text him, and tell him if he’s single, we should meet for a drink.  Stupid, stupid, stupid…   We had a great dinner, I went over to his place after for drinks and he turns into octopus man.  No wonder he is single despite the outward appearance of being a decent looking very successful man.  His little brain actually thinks dinner = automatic sex.  When I told him what to do and got ready to leave, he just couldn’t resist telling me that I was repressed and frigid.  Kill. Me. Now.

2.   So, I met this guy for coffee (POF so I should have known better).  He was really hot in his photos.  I did not recognize the man who showed up.  He was wearing glasses (which is not a problem, but why wouldn’t you post a photo of yourself in glasses if you wear them all of the time???).  When he smiled he had that gum line thing going on.  Normally not something I’d comment on, but jesus, it was huge.  You know what I mean when someone smiles and the gap between their teeth and lips is really big.  I’ve never seen anything like this guy.  But I could have got past that.  But for footwear, he thought bare feet in birkenstocks was a good idea.  I mean really…  What a disgusting look for a 50 year old man hoping to impress a women..  And what a complete misrepresentation of yourself.  I just don’t understand why you don’t think I noticed you were actually ugly with bad taste in shoes when I met you????  Kill. Me. Now.

3. I’m at a friend’s house and drink a bottle of wine before we go downtown.  Not really the brightest move, but what can I say.  I am the queen of doing stupid shit.  Too make a long story short, I meet a guy.  Of course I do.  We were out on the town all night and then back to my place where I immediately fell asleep with all my clothes on.  I have to say he was a pretty good sport about it when I woke up and called him by the wrong name.  He asked me for my number, I gave it to him, and he did call.  We hung out for the fall – he is actually very sweet, slightly stupid, and killer in bed.  On the downside,  he is a 44 year old with no apparent means of making money, lives with his parents (he’s between women – from what I gather, he always has a girlfriend that he lives with).   I think he thought that I wanted him to be my boyfriend.  Maybe he thought I’d let him move in with me.  Perhaps he thinks I am old and desperate?  Who knows.  So he goes to Mexico.  With another woman, but he didn’t want me to find out about that, although why he would even think I’d give a shit is beyond me.  He texted me constantly from the beach, telling me he wished I was there, the only thing missing was me, etc etc.  Well, his other woman snooped his phone, found the texts, was apparently pissed and sent a text to me from his phone saying “I’m in Mexico with my girlfriend.  I have a bad temper and I begged her to take me back.  I don’t deserve her love”.  I pissed myself laughing and texted him back “Life is short, be happy”.  To make a long story short, he calls and calls and finally I talk to him and he tells me she took his phone, sent that blah blah blah.  He tells me he has a gift for me from Mexico, can he bring it over.  I should have known….

This is the gift:

Mexico

I guess he didn’t think I’d notice he stole it from the hotel room.  It’s the best laugh I’ve had in years!  Needless to say, despite the great sex, he is just way too stupid for me to ever have anything to do with again.

4.  While number 3 was going on, I met another guy, who although rough around the edges was pretty interesting and he owns a cool business and seems to have his act together.  I met him when I was away at a friend’s cottage and we hung out and it was fun.  He texted me, we were making plans to maybe golf or something, and this happens:  I got my roof replaced in September.  One afternoon the hot roofer guy tells me that some guy dropped by the house, said “oh you are the guys doing XXX’s roof – I’m fucking her”.  Seriously.  So, I pretty much flip my lid as from the description of his car and him, it’s the same guy I hung out with at the cottage!  I did not have sex with him!!!  I call him out on it, he denies the entire thing.  He is a total fuckwit.  He totally did say that.  I don’t even know how he found out where I lived as I certainly didn’t tell him. Just beyond creepy that he did that.  Kill. Me. Now.

5.  My friend from Vancouver comes to town and wants to take me out.  I think he also thought some sex would be involved as there was last year when he was around but I’m not into him anymore and just want to be friends.  Which annoyed the shit out of him I think, but whatever.  We go to a bar after dinner where I meet a bunch of guys out celebrating a 50th birthday.  Of course I totally hit it off with the one married guy in the bunch.  He takes my number, texts me to tell me how awesome I am to talk to and invites me out for lunch.  Stupidly, I go.  I really like this guy.  He is exactly the kind of man I should be associating myself with (except for the being married part).  He is handsome, educated, owns a company and has fixed numerous things in my house since I met him on December 4th. I have actually seen him every day since then (with the exception of the holidays) as he can’t seem to keep away from me.  Well, he’s going to have to now, as I’m completely pissed after last night.  This guy can’t keep his hands off me.  He likes kissing me and I like kissing him.   We hit it off like a house on fire.  I rarely meet people I can talk to for hours and hours.  He is someone I can do that with.  As I said, I really like him.  He really likes me.  But I’ve had my fill of his mixed messages.  I mean really, you come to my house, drink wine all night, rub my feet, kiss me, tell me how wonderful I am, yet you think I’m going to wait around forever for you to decide whether or not you are going to leave your wife?????    It was really a nice night, and even somewhat romantic. I haven’t seen him for about five days, and was so excited to see him.   But, after drinking a bunch of wine, it suddenly occurred to me that a) I am a total idiot hanging out with this married guy and b) he is totally using me and I’m not putting up with it for another second.  It wasn’t a pretty parting and I was very upset.  Wine plus me feeling used and stupid = miserable time for the man.

So, although not a stellar start man-wise to my new year, at least I did excise him from my life before things got too ridiculously complicated.  It’s a start.  On the upside today, the very cute shoe repair guy asked me for my number  when I picked up my boots.  And only charged me about half of what he should have 🙂  I’m pretty sure I’ll be hearing from him at some point.

On the work front, I think things are going well and I’m placing a major focus on some business development this month.  Or best case scenario, I’ll just win the damn lottery and I won’t have to bother with all of that : )

And finally – Happy New Year!

PS  This blog is dedicated to Stevie, who found my blog open on his wife’s IPAD and has apparently been following me ever since.  I’m sure he is relieved that although I spend a lot of time with his wife, I haven’t yet managed to take her over to the dark side!

 

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