Apparently I have an aggressive vagina…

Yes, a man I actually  like told me that a couple of weeks ago (I think I will just call him Mr. Hot). It would appear that he either a) hasn’t had sex with a woman who actually does kegel exercises; or b) he sleeps with women who fake orgasms.

This guy is pretty hot. Mata Hari 100% approves of him, and made sure I spent lots of time with him doing meetings that she would normally have done. But she is a good friend and did me a solid by sending me along instead. Which resulted in me being able to do some major flirting which resulted in a dinner invitation.

This guy is the complete opposite of Mr. Stole the Book from the hotel room in Mexico guy. Mr. Hot is tall, handsome, educated, good job, classy, polite. You name it, he is the opposite. He is charming and witty. And as an aside, completely unlike tortured, crazy, Ashely Madison man.

So, we’ve had seven dates in the past month. He is not lacking in the man department at all  (I was amazed when I saw him naked).  It’s pretty clear to me though, that he actually hasn’t had sex with someone like me before. I suppose being married 30 years to someone who (according to him) never had an orgasm would pretty much suck.

Anyway, to put this delicately (see, I do like him as I’m not skewering him here) apparently my tight vagina is a bit much if you are a man who isn’t 100% hard. Again, being delicate, apparently it tends to push a not 100% hard man out of me.

I actually didn’t know this was a thing. But it is. I guess men my age (which I prefer over the younger ones for some reason) sometimes have issues with hardness.

So, not to belabour the point. I told him if I was a guy I’d be chewing Viagra like candy and it was ridiculous that he should even feel awkward about anything to do with sex. I mean, it’s me. I’m the most chill person in the world when it comes to sex. If I don’t have an orgasm, I feel no need to apologize or blame it on myself. And if he doesn’t have an orgasm, I don’t take it personally at all. But again, I guess most women aren’t like this.

But Mr. Hot (being a perfectionist, I guess) couldn’t relax about this so I had to explain a couple of things to him.

  1. Tight vaginas are better than sloppy ones. Yes, I can grab on better than most, but it’s a good thing and just take the damn Viagra and get over yourself; and
  2. Some women feel the need to fake orgasms, I will never do that, and what you are experiencing is a woman having an orgasm. Not an aggressive vagina.   But an orgasmic vagina.

I’m not actually sure what he thinks about all of this. I think he’s intimidated. Mata Hari thinks he just doesn’t know what to think.

I agree with her.


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