I discovered the naked beach this summer. I have to say, I LOVE the naked beach. Sun, salt water, beer, naked men…. It’s like heaven, but in Nova Scotia. Not to mention the ratio of men to women is awesome and ALL of the men are naked. And no, not all of them are gay. I told KMS that next year I’ll be bringing naked beach business cards with my contact info – I totally missed out on following up with two very handsome, hot naked men that I talked to because – get this – I felt too shy!!! WTF????? I wasn’t sure on naked beach protocol where hitting on men was concerned so I completely missed the boat on that one. So unlike me – I am not really a person who gives a shit about protocol, but I guess being naked does that to you. Next year, I’m just going to drop my card on the object of my attentions’ naked body and hope for the best.
I love this photo:
A very, very nice man I met this summer (back story – I met him at a good friend’s birthday party out in the country, and we stayed up drinking wine and talking about everything imaginable and watched the sun rise) was in town this weekend and he bought me a book of photos called “Snapshots of Dangerous Women”. I mean, what an amazing gift – that’s one hell of a guy who can actually come up with a gift like that. The inscription from him: “To the hottest and most dangerous woman I know. Luv, XXX”. And when I unwrapped the gift and was looking through it, I stopped at this photo and remarked on how this was completely me and something I would do! And he said to me “I was flipping through the book and looked at this photo and thought this is absolutely you, so I bought it for you”. It beats the shit out of a bouquet of flowers.
We were lazing about in my hammock and he told me he had a dream about me. In the dream I was standing on a dais, not smiling, not frowning, just watchful. I was waiting for a date. Two men walk into the room, and walk towards me and then walk past me. He has an epiphany and realized that HE is my date. Then he approaches me. I lean down and whisper in his ear “We have so much to share”.
He is married so I am putting this all down to a mid-life crisis thing rather than me being his soul-mate, which is what he wants to believe. The only possible outcome of this is bad. Mostly for him.
I am still dating single, Mr. Hot. (This is the aggressive vagina man). And holy shit this man is as hot as they come. The more I get to know him, the hotter he becomes to me. He has everything that a woman would like in a man. Classy, well mannered, interesting, funny, good cook, hot body, fit, big penis, attentive lover. I mean, why he is single is beyond me. We had brunch on Sunday morning, and then he texted me in the afternoon to see if I wanted to come over for dinner (his daughter bailed on him, no I did not find it insulting to get a last minute invitation from a man whose daughter bailed on him – I like to think I was first on his list of people to text as a replacement).
So dinner was amazing. I was having a hard time eating. We were sitting side by side and all I could think was “All I want to do is get naked with you and give you a blowjob”. Being a very sexual person, I know what it’s like to find someone hot and want them. But this was completely different – total overdrive. This man can kiss… He has touching a face down to a fine art. He completely understands the subtleties of foreplay. I had two of the most mind blowing orgasms ever. Yes, I realize this sounds like a load of hyperbole, but it’s not. I can’t stop thinking about them. On the downside, it does seem that my “aggressive vagina” (which he now calls the “tightest vagina he’s ever been in”) is somewhat of a problem for a man with such a big penis who can’t just slip in there without some work. Is this Viagra related, or big dick related or what?? Is it really possible that your penis is that big that it can’t fit in a normal vagina without difficulty???
I love having first world problems like this.