Lying in a Puddle of Puke and Parkinson’s Disease (these two things are not related…)

My, oh my, it’s been an interesting few weeks.

Let me start with the wine show. One of the most fun events I go to all year. You pay $50.00 and then you get to drink as much wine as you can in three hours. Yes, you do have to be sensible about this. No, the person I was with was not.

Picture a 5’7”, skinny, 21 year old Chinese student from Beijing. Her first time out of China. She is renting a room from me (yes, in the interests of being able to waste money on expensive wine, shoes and handbags, I have two roommates this fall). One is awesome, I would keep her forever if I could, the Chinese one, not so much. She has a complete inability to clean up after herself, follow instructions on how to sort the garbage or load the dishwasher, and can’t seem to lock the door when she leaves the house, so has until November 1st to find another place to live, but I digress here.

KMS and I go to the wine show. Being nice, I invite Chinese student along. She seems like she is having a complete blast all afternoon. We take numerous selfies, laugh a lot, I see a bunch of people I haven’t seen for years, and it’s an all-round awesome afternoon. To top it off, KMS got a total buzz on, which was hilarious and only the second time in the 20 years I’ve known her that I’ve seen that happen – usually that’s my domain. Quit pissing on my territory KMS!!

Anyway, it was time to leave and a shit ton of wine was drunk by this point. Chinese student disappears to the bathroom. I’m waiting outside, talking to people and finally realize that it’s been quite some time since I’ve seen her. I try to get into the washroom, officious security guards tell me it’s closed due to an “incident”. Alarm bells in my mind. All I can think is just KILL ME NOW WHAT DID SHE DO???

I say in my most polite, non-buzzed voice “umm, my friend went in there and never came out – a tall skinny Asian girl?” They told me that I better go on in. And there she is – passed out cold on the floor of the public bathroom in a pile of puke. The ambulance showed up. The police talked to me. The liquor inspector talked to me. I’m like – “WTF??? I’m just the landlady!!”

To make a very long story short, I hung out in an ambulance, cooled my heels in emergency for 5 hours and got this chick back to my place in a taxi. Not how I planned to spend my night. Poor girl. I have done spectacularly stupid things in my life as well, and I just pretend they never happened, and just let her do the same. I am hoping that in the karma universe, this will negate any shitty things I may have done recently.

So, later that week, I travel to visit my parents. My father is quite ill with Parkinson’s Disease. And what a shitty, fucking disease that is.   I have watched a vibrant, funny, opinionated, larger than life man become reduced to basically being unable to speak the way he wants to, needs help to shower and eat, mobile only with a walker and at risk of being put in care at any time. It breaks my heart.

I am a female version of my father. We didn’t really get along when I was young, but that’s because we were pretty much the same person. I understand that now. And all I can think when I look at him is “please, if there is any kind of God or whatever, please, please make sure I put a bullet in my brain before I am like this”. Which I suppose is pretty insulting to my Dad when I think about it. I am assuming that his life sucks as much as it looks like it sucks, but maybe he finds joy in the small things like his grand-daughter or spending time with my mother. But, I doubt it.

It was a hard visit and upset me a lot. I’m not a person who cries a lot, but seeing my mother trying to cope with this and her struggles with taking care of a man who is supposed to be her lover, and then seeing how my father struggles to get through a day – it just about did me in. Here are two good people who saved their entire lives for a good retirement, sacrificed many short term pleasures so they could do the long game, and now this is their life.



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