It’s possible I am beyond ridiculous …

Well, after I took this photo, I realized how ridiculous I am. Is it really a thing to put your hair extensions in hot rollers before you go to bed???????

I love those hair extensions. Something about them makes me feel pretty.  It’s a subtle look, and people look at me, but can’t figure out what it is that is making me look a bit different.   I bow down to whomever is was that invented them : )

But really, I would never admit that I wear these stupid things!

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Am I a genetic defect or the new normal for single, middle aged women???

Not to mean I have a shitty life or that I’m complaining.  Because I’m definitely not.  I have a sweet thing going on right now.  I mean really, really sweet.  It’s taken a long, long time, with massive amounts of bullshit involved getting here, but I like my life.  A lot.  And it feels good to be able to say that.

I live by myself in a nice place in a good part of town with my trusty dog who worships the ground I walk on.  I support myself, don’t have to depend on anyone for cash and don’t have to explain what I do or why I’m doing it to a single soul.  And don’t even get me started about the booty call aspect of this.

How lucky am I to be living in an era where no one could be bothered to cast aspersions on a woman my age who has, as my mother calls it, “men friends”.  (Although it’s possible my mother thinks that booty calls aren’t involved when having a man friend, but she doesn’t ask, most likely doesn’t have a clue what a booty call is, and I don’t mention).  Anyway, my point being, I get to have as much sex as I want with whomever strikes my fancy.  I cannot even explain how completely amazing this is for me.

I spent way, way too many years with various men of all kinds and after three long term, failed relationships, and too many to count short, ill-fated faux relationships, I have come to the following conclusions:

1. What first attracts a man to you is what ultimately totally pisses them off about you. i.e. my chippy, speak my mind, potty mouthed, take no prisoners self.
2. Men say they want independent, sexy women, but they actually don’t. The want sexy women they can control.
3. Men think they like a woman who thinks about sex like a man. i.e. Have a fun, no strings attached night and you take it for what it is. They don’t. When confronted with a woman who actually doesn’t care if they call or not, they have an overwhelming desire to call. And text. And call some more. Or show up at your house unannounced.
4. It takes a short amount of time for the initial sexual thrill to wear off, and then you’re invariably faced with a man who bores the snot out of you in and out of bed.

As a result, I am so, so happy that in this brave new world, I just get to have lovers who fulfill whatever it is I want fulfilled at the moment and they leave in the morning, understanding fully that I am not in any way, shape or form wanting to be their girlfriend, and that I just want to hang out and have some fun.  Not to mention that if I don’t call you anymore, it’s not because I don’t like you, it’s because I have the attention span of flea now where men are concerned.

I do understand that this way of thinking makes me an anathema to those who believe in happily ever after and love forever.  Luckily for me, I don’t give a shit : )