Not to mean I have a shitty life or that I’m complaining. Because I’m definitely not. I have a sweet thing going on right now. I mean really, really sweet. It’s taken a long, long time, with massive amounts of bullshit involved getting here, but I like my life. A lot. And it feels good to be able to say that.
I live by myself in a nice place in a good part of town with my trusty dog who worships the ground I walk on. I support myself, don’t have to depend on anyone for cash and don’t have to explain what I do or why I’m doing it to a single soul. And don’t even get me started about the booty call aspect of this.
How lucky am I to be living in an era where no one could be bothered to cast aspersions on a woman my age who has, as my mother calls it, “men friends”. (Although it’s possible my mother thinks that booty calls aren’t involved when having a man friend, but she doesn’t ask, most likely doesn’t have a clue what a booty call is, and I don’t mention). Anyway, my point being, I get to have as much sex as I want with whomever strikes my fancy. I cannot even explain how completely amazing this is for me.
I spent way, way too many years with various men of all kinds and after three long term, failed relationships, and too many to count short, ill-fated faux relationships, I have come to the following conclusions:
- What first attracts a man to you is what ultimately totally pisses them off about you. i.e. my chippy, speak my mind, potty mouthed, take no prisoners self.
- Men say they want independent, sexy women, but they actually don’t. The want sexy women they can control.
- Men think they like a woman who thinks about sex like a man. i.e. Have a fun, no strings attached night and you take it for what it is. They don’t. When confronted with a woman who actually doesn’t care if they call or not, they have an overwhelming desire to call. And text. And call some more. Or show up at your house unannounced.
- It takes a short amount of time for the initial sexual thrill to wear off, and then you’re invariably faced with a man who bores the snot out of you in and out of bed.
As a result, I am so, so happy that in this brave new world, I just get to have lovers who fulfill whatever it is I want fulfilled at the moment and they leave in the morning, understanding fully that I am not in any way, shape or form wanting to be their girlfriend, and that I just want to hang out and have some fun. Not to mention that if I don’t call you anymore, it’s not because I don’t like you, it’s because I have the attention span of flea now where men are concerned.
I do understand that this way of thinking makes me an anathema to those who believe in happily ever after and love forever. Luckily for me, I don’t give a shit : )